on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

greeting cards fit for any occasion.

Give the gift of hilarity with a classic Greetings From Hell greeting card. Browse our enormous library over over 1000+ designs to find the perfect arrangement of colour and words that nails the person you are buying for.

Without cringey pictures of flowers and bunnies or hard-to-read script fonts, our greeting cards are modern and sophisticated. Simplicity in design is key.

Take a load off, kick back and prepare to get lost in laughter as you scroll through our archives of hilarious greeting cards.

brand new greeting cards.

"Damn, You've Aged Like Milk" Birthday Card

"Damn, You've Aged Like Milk" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Bender" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Bender" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Blurry Christmas" Christmas Card

"Blurry Christmas" Christmas Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear" Christmas Card

"Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear" Christmas Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Creamy Shits" Christmas Card

"Creamy Shits" Christmas Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either" Christmas Card

"Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either" Christmas Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"The Benefits of Dating Me" Valentines Card

"The Benefits of Dating Me" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You, You and Your Pussy Got Plans Tonight?" Valentines Card

"You, You and Your Pussy Got Plans Tonight?" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I May Not Be Your First Girlfriend" Valentines Card

"I May Not Be Your First Girlfriend" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You Can Give Me The 'V' Later" Valentines Card

"You Can Give Me The 'V' Later" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

Featured collection

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extra large greeting cards.

"Do Nothing From The Comfort of Your Own Home" Extra Large Retirement Card
Extra Large

"Do Nothing From The Comfort of Your Own Home" Extra Large Retirement Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Get Well Soon, Cunt" Extra Large Get Well Card
Extra Large

"Get Well Soon, Cunt" Extra Large Get Well Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Happy Fucking Whatever" Extra Large Greeting Card
Extra Large

"Happy Fucking Whatever" Extra Large Greeting Card

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"It's About Time You Fucked Off, You Were Shit" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"It's About Time You Fucked Off, You Were Shit" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (2)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Later, Traitor" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"Later, Traitor" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Look At You Guys Getting All Married and Shit" Extra Large Wedding Card
Extra Large

"Look At You Guys Getting All Married and Shit" Extra Large Wedding Card

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Not Considering All of Our Abandonment Issues" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"Not Considering All of Our Abandonment Issues" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

"Not Us, Not Hermione, You" Extra Large Birthday Card
Extra Large

"Not Us, Not Hermione, You" Extra Large Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$9.89

$9.89

In stock

all extra large greeting cards.

Shop all

shop by occasion.

Birthday Cards
Birthday Cards (645)
Wedding Cards
Wedding Cards (80)
Engagement Cards
Engagement Cards (25)
Anniversary Cards
Anniversary Cards (30)
Newborn Cards
Newborn Cards (73)
Housewarming Cards
Housewarming Cards (32)
Farewell Cards
Farewell Cards (97)
Congratulations Cards
Congratulations Cards (140)
Get Well Cards
Get Well Cards (31)
Thank You Cards
Thank You Cards (52)

shop by holiday.

Valentine's Day Cards
Valentine's Day Cards (383)
Mother's Day Cards
Mother's Day Cards (164)
Father's Day Cards
Father's Day Cards (169)
Christmas Cards
Christmas Cards (244)
"Happy Easter, You Hot Cross Cunt" Easter Card
Easter Cards (6)

shop other occasions.

Retirement Cards
Retirement Cards (36)
Apology Cards
Apology Cards (35)
Encouragement Cards
Encouragement Cards (46)
Sympathy
Sympathy (28)
New Job Cards
New Job Cards (21)
Travel Greeting Cards
Travel Greeting Cards (26)
Graduation Cards
Graduation Cards (30)
Baby Shower
Baby Shower (3)
Celebration Cards
Celebration Cards (48)
Bar Mitzvah
Bar Mitzvah (4)

shop by person.

Cards For Brother
Cards For Brother (29)
Cards For Sister
Cards For Sister (26)
Cards for Mum
Cards for Mum (184)
Cards For Dad
Cards For Dad (162)
Grandparents
Grandparents (20)
Cards For Friend
Cards For Friend (62)
"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Anniversary Card
Cards For Spouse (63)
"Favourite Financial Burden" Father's Day Card
Child (26)
"Thanks for Being the World's Goodest Teacher" Thank You Card
Teacher (5)
"Please Don't Leave Me With These Idiots" Farewell Card
Coworker Cards (55)

shop by category.

LGBTQI Cards
LGBTQI Cards (94)
High Impact Cards
High Impact Cards (66)
Love Cards
Love Cards (361)
Pop Culture Cards
Pop Culture Cards (149)
"And I Will Always Love You" Valentines Card
Song Lyric Cards (38)
over 1000 designs.

Browse for hours through an extensive library of colourful and hilarious greeting card designs.

designed & handmade in Australia

We are a 100% Australian owned and operated small business.

delivered to your home.

you don't even need to leave the house or visit one of those newsagencies - the lighting is terrible anyway.