on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

High Impact Cards

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"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Birthday Card

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (37)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Black greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Cunt.

"Happy Birthday Cunt" Birthday Card

4.9 (35)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Shit Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Shit Cunt" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Cuntmas" Christmas Card

"Merry Cuntmas" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Valentine's Day Cunt" Valentines Card

"Happy Valentine's Day Cunt" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"In Dog Years, You're a Cunt" Birthday Card

"In Dog Years, You're a Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Old Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Old Cunt" Birthday Card

4.8 (19)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Alexa, Search Christmas Cards For Cunts" Christmas Card

"Alexa, Search Christmas Cards For Cunts" Christmas Card

5.0 (5)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Penis Breath" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Penis Breath" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Slut Guts" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Slut Guts" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"We Are Both Cunts" Friendship Card

"We Are Both Cunts" Friendship Card

5.0 (8)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Fucktard" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Fucktard" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Sexy Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Sexy Cunt" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday to You and Your 12 Inch Cock" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to You and Your 12 Inch Cock" Birthday Card

5.0 (9)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"He Knows That You're a Cunt" Christmas Card

"He Knows That You're a Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Hope Your New Neighbours Aren't Cunts" Housewarming Card

"Hope Your New Neighbours Aren't Cunts" Housewarming Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Unfinished Abortion" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Unfinished Abortion" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You're a Mad Cunt" Greeting Card

"You're a Mad Cunt" Greeting Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Christmas You Christmasy Cunt" Christmas Card

"Merry Christmas You Christmasy Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Christmas Cunt" Christmas Card

"Merry Christmas Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Dog Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Dog Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Deaf Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Deaf Cunt" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let's Watch Harry Potter and Fuck" Valentines Card

"Let's Watch Harry Potter and Fuck" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Father's Day, You Old Cunt" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day, You Old Cunt" Father's Day Card

5.0 (5)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday *Cough* Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday *Cough* Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Cunt's Fucked, But Merry Christmas" Christmas Card

"Cunt's Fucked, But Merry Christmas" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"'Tis The Season To Do Molly" Christmas Card

"'Tis The Season To Do Molly" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Fuckwit" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Fuckwit" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Fat Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Fat Cunt" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Fuckface" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Fuckface" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Retirement, You Old Cunt" Retirement Card

"Happy Retirement, You Old Cunt" Retirement Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Extra Large Birthday Card
Extra Large

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Extra Large Birthday Card

$17.99

$17.99

In stock

"To a Special Cunt" Greeting Card

"To a Special Cunt" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Cock-Sucking Lips" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Cock-Sucking Lips" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Remember To Arch Your Back On Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"Remember To Arch Your Back On Your Birthday" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Please Don't Leave Me With These Cunts" Farewell Card

"Please Don't Leave Me With These Cunts" Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let's Watch Netflix and Fuck" Valentines Card

"Let's Watch Netflix and Fuck" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks for All the Laugh Lines, You Funny Cunt" Thank You Card

"Thanks for All the Laugh Lines, You Funny Cunt" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Shit Stain" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Shit Stain" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Today, You are a Qualified Cunt" Graduation Card

"Today, You are a Qualified Cunt" Graduation Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Slutty Bottom" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Slutty Bottom" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Congrats, Cunt" Congratulations Card

"Congrats, Cunt" Congratulations Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Crackhead" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Crackhead" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Get Well Soon, Cunt" Get Well Card

"Get Well Soon, Cunt" Get Well Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Drunk Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Drunk Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Whose Dick Did You Have to Suck?" New Job Card

"Whose Dick Did You Have to Suck?" New Job Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Holidays Cunt" Christmas Card

"Happy Holidays Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday to the Cunt of the Litter " Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to the Cunt of the Litter " Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry Your Baby is a Cunt" Newborn Card

"Sorry Your Baby is a Cunt" Newborn Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock