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    Store Closed from 25 Sept 2026 to Feb 2027
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    Retirement Cards

    Finally free, or at least free from Zoom meetings. Our retirement cards are a cheeky farewell to office life, printer jams, and pretending to care. Here’s to naps and never replying to emails again.

    36 Results

    36 Results

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    "The Legend Has Retired" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "The Legend Has Retired" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "The Legend Has Left the Building" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "The Legend Has Left the Building" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "We All Thought You Retired Years Ago" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "We All Thought You Retired Years Ago" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "You're Fucking Retiring" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "You're Fucking Retiring" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "You Definitely Look Like You Need to Retire" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "You Definitely Look Like You Need to Retire" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Happy Retirement, You Old Cunt" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Happy Retirement, You Old Cunt" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Happy Retirement, You Old Bitch" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Happy Retirement, You Old Bitch" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "You Were Holding This Place Together" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "You Were Holding This Place Together" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Please Don't Leave Me With These Idiots" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Please Don't Leave Me With These Idiots" Farewell Card

    5.0 (20)

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Don't Let the Door Hit Your Ass" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Don't Let the Door Hit Your Ass" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Off You Fuck" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Off You Fuck" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Enjoy the Cruise, I'll See You in 20kgs" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Enjoy the Cruise, I'll See You in 20kgs" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "It's All Downhill From Here" Greeting Card
    Sale

    "It's All Downhill From Here" Greeting Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Oh, You're Still Here?" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Oh, You're Still Here?" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Mystery Group Gift" Greeting Card
    Sale

    "Mystery Group Gift" Greeting Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "We Aren't Close Enough" Greeting Card
    Sale

    "We Aren't Close Enough" Greeting Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Now Who's Going to Do My Job for Me?" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Now Who's Going to Do My Job for Me?" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Retiring? In This Economy?" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Retiring? In This Economy?" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "The Office Will Be Quieter and a Lot More Productive" Greeting Card
    Sale

    "The Office Will Be Quieter and a Lot More Productive" Greeting Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "The Legend is Leaving the Building" Extra Large Farewell Card
    Sold out

    "The Legend is Leaving the Building" Extra Large Farewell Card

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    Out of stock

    "The Legend Has Retired" Extra Large Farewell Card
    Extra Large
    Sale

    "The Legend Has Retired" Extra Large Farewell Card

    5.0 (1)

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Extra Large Farewell Card
    Extra Large
    Sale

    "Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Extra Large Farewell Card

    5.0 (1)

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    In stock

    "You Weren't Able to Thrive in This Fast-Paced Environment" Extra Large Farewell Card
    Extra Large
    Sale

    "You Weren't Able to Thrive in This Fast-Paced Environment" Extra Large Farewell Card

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Do Nothing From The Comfort of Your Own Home" Extra Large Retirement Card
    Extra Large
    Sale

    "Do Nothing From The Comfort of Your Own Home" Extra Large Retirement Card

    5.0 (1)

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    $17.99 $13.49 Save 25%

    In stock

    "As Per My Last Email, Happy Retirement" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "As Per My Last Email, Happy Retirement" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Under New Management" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Under New Management" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Yay, Permanent Work From Home" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Yay, Permanent Work From Home" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Do Nothing From the Comfort of Your Own Home" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Do Nothing From the Comfort of Your Own Home" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "You Little Quitter" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "You Little Quitter" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "It's Time for Adventure Before Dementia" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "It's Time for Adventure Before Dementia" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Go Wherever Those Clicky Knees Will Take You" Farewell Card
    Sale

    "Go Wherever Those Clicky Knees Will Take You" Farewell Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Which of Your Many Houses You'll Be Retiring In" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Which of Your Many Houses You'll Be Retiring In" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "Card Because Retired" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "Card Because Retired" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock

    "The Largest Font I Could Find" Retirement Card
    Sale

    "The Largest Font I Could Find" Retirement Card

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    $6.99 $5.24 Save 25%

    In stock