on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

Birthday Cards

Birthdays are like assholes... everyone's got one and we have to celebrate like it's some great achievement. Luckily, we have an endless range of funny birthday greeting cards for just such an occasion.

Extra Large Birthday Cards

Birthday Badges

Birthday Gift Labels & Tags

645 Results

645 Results

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"Not Me, Not Hermione, You" Birthday Card

"Not Me, Not Hermione, You" Birthday Card

5.0 (11)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Birthday Card

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Birthday Card

4.7 (29)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Birthday Card

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (37)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

Black greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Cunt.

"Happy Birthday Cunt" Birthday Card

4.9 (35)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Sexy Bitch" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Sexy Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (11)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"In Dog Years, You're Gay" Birthday Card

"In Dog Years, You're Gay" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday to You and Your Wildly Untreated ADHD" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to You and Your Wildly Untreated ADHD" Birthday Card

5.0 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"When is it Too Soon to Start Looking at Nursing Homes" Greeting Card

"When is it Too Soon to Start Looking at Nursing Homes" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday (Taylor's Version)" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday (Taylor's Version)" Birthday Card

5.0 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I've Got Your Back If You Want To Start Lying About Your Age" Birthday Card

"I've Got Your Back If You Want To Start Lying About Your Age" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Card Because Birthday" Birthday Card

"Card Because Birthday" Birthday Card

4.9 (8)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday *Cough* Slut" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday *Cough* Slut" Birthday Card

5.0 (9)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Some Birthdays are Considered Especially Heinous" Birthday Card

"Some Birthdays are Considered Especially Heinous" Birthday Card

5.0 (4)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Hope You Get a Woolies Mud Cake for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"I Hope You Get a Woolies Mud Cake for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"A Birthday? In This Economy?" Birthday Card

"A Birthday? In This Economy?" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Sugar Tits" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Sugar Tits" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Killer Rack" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Killer Rack" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Dismantle the Patriarchy for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"Dismantle the Patriarchy for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Got You a Card" Greeting Card

"I Got You a Card" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Iconic Bitch" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Iconic Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Handsome Motherfucker" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Handsome Motherfucker" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Beer and a Blowjob" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Beer and a Blowjob" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Girthday Big Dick" Birthday Card

"Happy Girthday Big Dick" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't Gluten Free" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't Gluten Free" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"If You Can Smell Toast, Let Me Know" Birthday Card

"If You Can Smell Toast, Let Me Know" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Mole" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Mole" Birthday Card

4.7 (9)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Big Homo" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Big Homo" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Still Hot, It Just Comes in Flashes Now" Birthday Card

"You're Still Hot, It Just Comes in Flashes Now" Birthday Card

5.0 (8)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Your High Risk Homosexual Behaviour" Birthday Card

"Your High Risk Homosexual Behaviour" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"At Least They'll Never Say You Died Too Young" Birthday Card

"At Least They'll Never Say You Died Too Young" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"It's Your Birthday, I Love That For You" Birthday Card

"It's Your Birthday, I Love That For You" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Officially Too Old For Leo" Birthday Card

"You're Officially Too Old For Leo" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"One Year Older and Still a Little Bitch" Birthday Card

"One Year Older and Still a Little Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (38)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Shit Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Shit Cunt" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Irritable Bowels" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Irritable Bowels" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas" Christmas Card

"Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas" Christmas Card

3.5 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday *Finger Guns*" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday *Finger Guns*" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Relevant Occasion" Greeting Card

"Happy Relevant Occasion" Greeting Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Dickhead" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Dickhead" Birthday Card

4.9 (13)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Impossible to Shop For" Greeting Card

"You're Impossible to Shop For" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To My Bestie From Another Testie" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To My Bestie From Another Testie" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"The Crow Called. It Wants Its Feet Back" Birthday Card

"The Crow Called. It Wants Its Feet Back" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Christ, You're Getting Old" Birthday Card

"Christ, You're Getting Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Am Your Gift" Greeting Card

"I Am Your Gift" Greeting Card

5.0 (10)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Alexa, Search Birthday Cards for Cunts" Birthday Card

"Alexa, Search Birthday Cards for Cunts" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Bruh" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Bruh" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday to My Much, Much Older Sister" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to My Much, Much Older Sister" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"To You and Your Resting Bitch Face" Birthday Card

"To You and Your Resting Bitch Face" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Silly Goose" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Silly Goose" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Forget the Past, Future and Present" Greeting Card

"Forget the Past, Future and Present" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

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