on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

Valentine's Day Cards

Browse over 200 Valentine's Day cards that are the cure for sappy romance. Nothing says “I care” like making them laugh, or at least our cards cost less than another expensive bunch of roses. Pick a card that says 'I love you' and makes them laugh out loud, because who says love can't be funny? Great for Valentines who want honesty instead of chocolates. These funny Valentine's Day cards say it for you, so you don't have to act romantic.

383 Results

383 Results

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"I'm Emotionally and Sexually Obsessed With You" Valentines Card

"I'm Emotionally and Sexually Obsessed With You" Valentines Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Got You a Card" Greeting Card

"I Got You a Card" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Shit, Turns Out I Like You More Than I Planned" Valentines Card

"Shit, Turns Out I Like You More Than I Planned" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Beer and a Blowjob" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Beer and a Blowjob" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"So Fucken Dead Set On You Hey" Valentines Card

"So Fucken Dead Set On You Hey" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Fucking Love Us" Valentines Card

"I Fucking Love Us" Valentines Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"All Time Favourite Penis" Valentines Card

"All Time Favourite Penis" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Valentine's Day Cunt" Valentines Card

"Happy Valentine's Day Cunt" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'm No Weatherman" Valentines Card

"I'm No Weatherman" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Licked You, So You Are Mine" Valentines Card

"I Licked You, So You Are Mine" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Your Farts Could Strip Paint Off The Walls" Valentines Card

"Your Farts Could Strip Paint Off The Walls" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"There's No One Else I'd Rather Burn In Hell With" Valentines Card

"There's No One Else I'd Rather Burn In Hell With" Valentines Card

4.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Butterflies in My Stomach" Valentines Card

"Butterflies in My Stomach" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're My Favourite Thing To Do" Valentines Card

"You're My Favourite Thing To Do" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'm So Glad I Snatched You From The Cradle" Valentines Card

"I'm So Glad I Snatched You From The Cradle" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Love the Shit Out of You" Valentines Card

"I Love the Shit Out of You" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"How Miserable You Must Have Been Before Meeting Me" Valentines Card

"How Miserable You Must Have Been Before Meeting Me" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"And I Will Always Love You" Valentines Card

"And I Will Always Love You" Valentines Card

4.5 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Love You. Whatever. Shut Up. Don't Look At Me." Valentines Card

"I Love You. Whatever. Shut Up. Don't Look At Me." Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Would Bury a Body and Lie To The Police For You" Valentines Card

"I Would Bury a Body and Lie To The Police For You" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Spoiler Alert. We're Together Forever" Valentines Card

"Spoiler Alert. We're Together Forever" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Can't Imagine A World" Valentines Card

"I Can't Imagine A World" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'm So Fwiggen in Wove With You" Valentines Card

"I'm So Fwiggen in Wove With You" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"It's Kinda Rude How Sexy You Are" Valentines Card

"It's Kinda Rude How Sexy You Are" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I've Got a Big Lesbian Crush On You" Valentines Card

"I've Got a Big Lesbian Crush On You" Valentines Card

5.0 (14)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You Moisten Me" Valentines Card

"You Moisten Me" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Love You With All My Dick" Valentines Card

"I Love You With All My Dick" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Thanks for the Orgasms" Valentines Card

"Thanks for the Orgasms" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"What Do You and Cheese Have in Common?" Valentines Card

"What Do You and Cheese Have in Common?" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Choo, Choo, Choose You" Valentines Card

"I Choo, Choo, Choose You" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Started Out With a Kiss" Valentines Card

"Started Out With a Kiss" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Rizz 'em With Your 'Tism" Valentines Card

"Rizz 'em With Your 'Tism" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Hot Couple" Valentines Card

"Hot Couple" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Got You This Card Because You Are Gay" Greeting Card

"I Got You This Card Because You Are Gay" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Thanks For Being My Dopamine Dealer" Valentines Card

"Thanks For Being My Dopamine Dealer" Valentines Card

4.8 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Need You in a Way That's Concerning to Feminism" Valentines Card

"I Need You in a Way That's Concerning to Feminism" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"See Inside For Further Details" Valentines Card

"See Inside For Further Details" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Call NASA" Valentines Card

"Call NASA" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You Shit Me To Tears, But I Love You" Valentines Card

"You Shit Me To Tears, But I Love You" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're So Lucky You Met Me" Valentines Card

"You're So Lucky You Met Me" Valentines Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're My Cup of Tea" Valentines Card

"You're My Cup of Tea" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Would You Still Love Me if I Was a Worm?" Valentines Card

"Would You Still Love Me if I Was a Worm?" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'm Yours Because You Deserve The Very Best" Valentines Card

"I'm Yours Because You Deserve The Very Best" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Shantay, You Stay" Anniversary Card

"Shantay, You Stay" Anniversary Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You Put The Fun in Dysfunctional" Greeting Card

"You Put The Fun in Dysfunctional" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Love You But Let's Not Make It Weird" Father's Day Card

"I Love You But Let's Not Make It Weird" Father's Day Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"10/10 Husband. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

"10/10 Husband. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"10/10 Wife. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

"10/10 Wife. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'll Always Welcome You With Open Arms" Valentines Card

"I'll Always Welcome You With Open Arms" Valentines Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"The Only Thing Gayer Than You is a Unicorn Sucking Cock" Greeting Card

"The Only Thing Gayer Than You is a Unicorn Sucking Cock" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock