on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Happy Birthday You Piece of Shit" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Piece of Shit" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let's Have an Autistic Christmas" Card

"Let's Have an Autistic Christmas" Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Birth" Birthday Card

"Birth" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Fighting Off Senility and Dementia" Greeting Card

"Fighting Off Senility and Dementia" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"A Shoulder To Lay Your Legs On" Valentines Card

"A Shoulder To Lay Your Legs On" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Lying To Me About Santa" Christmas Card

"Lying To Me About Santa" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Wife, Happy Life" Anniversary Card

"Happy Wife, Happy Life" Anniversary Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Maybe You're Born With It, Maybe It's ADHD" Birthday Card

"Maybe You're Born With It, Maybe It's ADHD" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Walk Away and Nobody Gets Fat" Fridge Magnet

"Walk Away and Nobody Gets Fat" Fridge Magnet

5.0 (1)

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Are You a Myocardial Infarction?" Valentines Card

"Are You a Myocardial Infarction?" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Father's Day, You Old Cunt" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day, You Old Cunt" Father's Day Card

5.0 (5)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Spirits Of Christmas" Christmas Card

"Spirits Of Christmas" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"All Panic, No Disco" Pin Badge

"All Panic, No Disco" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Remember to Take Your Brain Helpies" Fridge Magnet

"Remember to Take Your Brain Helpies" Fridge Magnet

4.0 (1)

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Happy Birthday To My Work Wife" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To My Work Wife" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks for Putting Up With My Rubbish" Thank You Card

"Thanks for Putting Up With My Rubbish" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Two Brides Are Better Than One" Wedding Card

"Two Brides Are Better Than One" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"To You and Your Micropenis" Birthday Card

"To You and Your Micropenis" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Now Who's Going to Do All the Work for Us?" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"Now Who's Going to Do All the Work for Us?" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$17.99

$17.99

In stock

"As Per My Last Email" Fridge Magnet

"As Per My Last Email" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Welcome to the Shitshow" Fridge Magnet

"Welcome to the Shitshow" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Technically, You're Dead in Gay Years" Birthday Card

"Technically, You're Dead in Gay Years" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Christmas Cunts" Pin Badge

"Merry Christmas Cunts" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys" Pin Badge

"Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Your Life Would Fucking Suck Without Me" Friendship Card

"Your Life Would Fucking Suck Without Me" Friendship Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You're Going The Right Way For a Smacked Bottom" Valentines Card

"You're Going The Right Way For a Smacked Bottom" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Cool Wedding" Wedding Card

"Cool Wedding" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Muchas Gracias" Thank You Card

"Muchas Gracias" Thank You Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Want You to Murder My Vagina" Valentines Card

"I Want You to Murder My Vagina" Valentines Card

5.0 (10)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"This is as Merry as I Get" Pin Badge

"This is as Merry as I Get" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Shit Cunt" Pin Badge

"Shit Cunt" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Dumbledore Said Calmly" Birthday Card

"Dumbledore Said Calmly" Birthday Card

4.8 (24)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Dashin' Through The Merlot" Christmas Card

"Dashin' Through The Merlot" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Won't Tell Anyone About Your Hemorrhoids" Birthday Card

"I Won't Tell Anyone About Your Hemorrhoids" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Top Of The Pops" Father's Day Card

"Top Of The Pops" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Don't Win Friends With Salad" Fridge Magnet

"You Don't Win Friends With Salad" Fridge Magnet

5.0 (1)

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Happy Birthday to My Passenger Princess" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to My Passenger Princess" Birthday Card

4.9 (34)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Are a Father. This is a Day. Here is a Card." Father's Day Card

"You Are a Father. This is a Day. Here is a Card." Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Cheese, Napping & You" Valentines Card

"Cheese, Napping & You" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Birth is a Curse and Existence is a Prison" Birthday Card

"Birth is a Curse and Existence is a Prison" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"This Calls For a Line of Coke" Congratulations Card

"This Calls For a Line of Coke" Congratulations Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Wanna Binge on Your Minge" Valentines Card

"I Wanna Binge on Your Minge" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Fruit Cake Sucks Dick" Christmas Card

"Fruit Cake Sucks Dick" Christmas Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Christmas You Grinchy Motherfucker" Christmas Card

"Merry Christmas You Grinchy Motherfucker" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Money is Short, Times are Hard" Christmas Card

"Money is Short, Times are Hard" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Assorted Christmas Gift Tags 12 Pack - Series 2
Sold out

Assorted Christmas Gift Tags 12 Pack - Series 2

5.0 (7)

$19.99

$19.99

Out of stock

"Move, I'm Gay" Pin Badge

"Move, I'm Gay" Pin Badge

4.9 (7)

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Start Your Birthday Off With a Dicken's Cider" Birthday Card

"Start Your Birthday Off With a Dicken's Cider" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry You Weren't Able to Thrive in This Fast-Paced Environment" Farewell Card

"Sorry You Weren't Able to Thrive in This Fast-Paced Environment" Farewell Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy __ Something" Birthday Card

"Happy __ Something" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock