on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Not Me, Not Hermione, You" Birthday Card

"Not Me, Not Hermione, You" Birthday Card

5.0 (11)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Birthday Card

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Birthday Card

4.7 (29)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

Free Mystery Mini Pin Badge

Free Mystery Mini Pin Badge

5.0 (1)

$1.65

$1.65

In stock

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Birthday Card

"One Year Older and Still a Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (37)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"If at First You Don't Succeed, Try Again" Greeting Card

"If at First You Don't Succeed, Try Again" Greeting Card

4.8 (21)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

Black greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Cunt.

"Happy Birthday Cunt" Birthday Card

4.9 (35)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Sexy Bitch" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Sexy Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (11)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"In Dog Years, You're Gay" Birthday Card

"In Dog Years, You're Gay" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday to You and Your Wildly Untreated ADHD" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to You and Your Wildly Untreated ADHD" Birthday Card

5.0 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"When is it Too Soon to Start Looking at Nursing Homes" Greeting Card

"When is it Too Soon to Start Looking at Nursing Homes" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday (Taylor's Version)" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday (Taylor's Version)" Birthday Card

5.0 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I've Got Your Back If You Want To Start Lying About Your Age" Birthday Card

"I've Got Your Back If You Want To Start Lying About Your Age" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You've Always Been Like A Father" Father's Day Card

"You've Always Been Like A Father" Father's Day Card

5.0 (20)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'm Emotionally and Sexually Obsessed With You" Valentines Card

"I'm Emotionally and Sexually Obsessed With You" Valentines Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Card Because Birthday" Birthday Card

"Card Because Birthday" Birthday Card

4.9 (8)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday *Cough* Slut" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday *Cough* Slut" Birthday Card

5.0 (9)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Some Birthdays are Considered Especially Heinous" Birthday Card

"Some Birthdays are Considered Especially Heinous" Birthday Card

5.0 (4)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Hope You Get a Woolies Mud Cake for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"I Hope You Get a Woolies Mud Cake for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"A Birthday? In This Economy?" Birthday Card

"A Birthday? In This Economy?" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Sugar Tits" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Sugar Tits" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Killer Rack" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Killer Rack" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Dismantle the Patriarchy for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"Dismantle the Patriarchy for Your Birthday" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Got You a Card" Greeting Card

"I Got You a Card" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Getting All Married and Shit" Wedding Card

"Getting All Married and Shit" Wedding Card

5.0 (27)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Celebrating Your Achievements" Greeting Card

"Celebrating Your Achievements" Greeting Card

5.0 (6)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Iconic Bitch" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Iconic Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Shit, Turns Out I Like You More Than I Planned" Valentines Card

"Shit, Turns Out I Like You More Than I Planned" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Handsome Motherfucker" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Handsome Motherfucker" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Beer and a Blowjob" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Beer and a Blowjob" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Girthday Big Dick" Birthday Card

"Happy Girthday Big Dick" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"So Fucken Dead Set On You Hey" Valentines Card

"So Fucken Dead Set On You Hey" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't Gluten Free" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't Gluten Free" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"10/10 Mum. Would Recommend." Mother's Day Card

"10/10 Mum. Would Recommend." Mother's Day Card

3.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Merry Christmas Tinsel Tits" Christmas Card

"Merry Christmas Tinsel Tits" Christmas Card

5.0 (29)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Appreciate the Fuck Out of You" Thank You Card

"I Appreciate the Fuck Out of You" Thank You Card

4.9 (17)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"If You Can Smell Toast, Let Me Know" Birthday Card

"If You Can Smell Toast, Let Me Know" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

Free Mystery Gift

Free Mystery Gift

5.0 (2)

$2.75

$2.75

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Mole" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Mole" Birthday Card

4.7 (9)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Big Homo" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Big Homo" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Fucking Love Us" Valentines Card

"I Fucking Love Us" Valentines Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Still Hot, It Just Comes in Flashes Now" Birthday Card

"You're Still Hot, It Just Comes in Flashes Now" Birthday Card

5.0 (8)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Your High Risk Homosexual Behaviour" Birthday Card

"Your High Risk Homosexual Behaviour" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"At Least They'll Never Say You Died Too Young" Birthday Card

"At Least They'll Never Say You Died Too Young" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Sorry About Your Other Daughter" Mother's Day Card

"Sorry About Your Other Daughter" Mother's Day Card

5.0 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Yeah, There's a Bunnings Voucher Inside" Father's Day Card

"Yeah, There's a Bunnings Voucher Inside" Father's Day Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I'm Not on Meth or Dead" Mother's Day Card

"I'm Not on Meth or Dead" Mother's Day Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"It's Your Birthday, I Love That For You" Birthday Card

"It's Your Birthday, I Love That For You" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"From One Fabulous Bitch to Another" Christmas Card

"From One Fabulous Bitch to Another" Christmas Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Officially Too Old For Leo" Birthday Card

"You're Officially Too Old For Leo" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"One Year Older and Still a Little Bitch" Birthday Card

"One Year Older and Still a Little Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (38)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock