on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$17.99

$17.99

In stock

"Your Bullshit Flawless Complexion" Birthday Card

"Your Bullshit Flawless Complexion" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Sick Mullet" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Sick Mullet" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Birth of Santa" Christmas Card

"The Birth of Santa" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Hope You Like My Gift, No Worries If Not" Greeting Card

"I Hope You Like My Gift, No Worries If Not" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Ew, You Had Sex With Dad" Mother's Day Card

"Ew, You Had Sex With Dad" Mother's Day Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Anniversary Card

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Anniversary Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Would You Still Love Me if I Was a Worm?" Valentines Card

"Would You Still Love Me if I Was a Worm?" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"At Least Your Jokes Never Get Old" Birthday Card

"At Least Your Jokes Never Get Old" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Christmas You Christmasy Cunt" Christmas Card

"Merry Christmas You Christmasy Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let Me Guess, You're "Feeling 22"" Birthday Card

"Let Me Guess, You're "Feeling 22"" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Best Mum in the Whole Wide House" Mother's Day Card

"Best Mum in the Whole Wide House" Mother's Day Card

5.0 (3)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Alexa, Search Christmas Cards For Little Bitches" Christmas Card

"Alexa, Search Christmas Cards For Little Bitches" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"People Do Less Time for Murder" Anniversary Card

"People Do Less Time for Murder" Anniversary Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Christmas Cunt" Christmas Card

"Merry Christmas Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Daddy" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Daddy" Birthday Card

4.9 (34)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Father's Day From Your Fastest Swimmer" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day From Your Fastest Swimmer" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Legend Has Retired" Extra Large Farewell Card
Extra Large

"The Legend Has Retired" Extra Large Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$17.99

$17.99

In stock

"I'm Yours Because You Deserve The Very Best" Valentines Card

"I'm Yours Because You Deserve The Very Best" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Shantay, You Stay" Anniversary Card

"Shantay, You Stay" Anniversary Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Put The Fun in Dysfunctional" Greeting Card

"You Put The Fun in Dysfunctional" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry Your Birthday Is On a Monday" Birthday Card

"Sorry Your Birthday Is On a Monday" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"__ Years of Awesome" Birthday Card

"__ Years of Awesome" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"If You Were a Dog, You'd Be Dead" Birthday Card

"If You Were a Dog, You'd Be Dead" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Free Mystery Art Print

Free Mystery Art Print

5.0 (1)

$5.00

$5.00

In stock

"Sounds Like a You Problem" Fridge Magnet

"Sounds Like a You Problem" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"As Per My Last Email, Happy Birthday" Birthday Card

"As Per My Last Email, Happy Birthday" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Love You But Let's Not Make It Weird" Father's Day Card

"I Love You But Let's Not Make It Weird" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You're Maturing Nicely" Birthday Card

"You're Maturing Nicely" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Smutty Romance Book" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Smutty Romance Book" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Don't Touch My Coke Zero" Fridge Magnet

"Don't Touch My Coke Zero" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"It's Too Peopley Outside Today" Fridge Magnet

"It's Too Peopley Outside Today" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"10/10 Husband. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

"10/10 Husband. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"No Birthday, Only Khlav Khalash" Birthday Card

"No Birthday, Only Khlav Khalash" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Feliz Navidaddy" Christmas Card

"Feliz Navidaddy" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"60 Is The New Nothing, It's Just Fucking Old" Birthday Card

"60 Is The New Nothing, It's Just Fucking Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Ordered This Card On The Toilet" Greeting Card

"I Ordered This Card On The Toilet" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Dog Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Dog Cunt" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Nimbus 2000" Greeting Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't a Nimbus 2000" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To My Elder" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To My Elder" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"My Condolences to Your Digestive System" Christmas Card

"My Condolences to Your Digestive System" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry About Your Other Child" Mother's Day Card

"Sorry About Your Other Child" Mother's Day Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks for Doing the Thing" Thank You Card

"Thanks for Doing the Thing" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Ain't No Party Like an S-Club Party" Celebration Card

"Ain't No Party Like an S-Club Party" Celebration Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Your Dick Still Does the Trick" Anniversary Card

"Your Dick Still Does the Trick" Anniversary Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"What's For Dinner?" Greeting Card

"What's For Dinner?" Greeting Card

5.0 (3)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"10/10 Wife. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

"10/10 Wife. Would Marry Again." Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Wait Until My Therapist Hears About This" Fridge Magnet

"Wait Until My Therapist Hears About This" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I'll Always Welcome You With Open Arms" Valentines Card

"I'll Always Welcome You With Open Arms" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Only Thing Gayer Than You is a Unicorn Sucking Cock" Greeting Card

"The Only Thing Gayer Than You is a Unicorn Sucking Cock" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock