on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Sorry About Your Other Son" Mother's Day Card

"Sorry About Your Other Son" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You'll Do" Valentines Card

"You'll Do" Valentines Card

5.0 (8)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Born On International Little Bitch Day" Birthday Card

"Born On International Little Bitch Day" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Playing Your Part in This Tony Award-Winning Shitshow" Thank You Card

"Playing Your Part in This Tony Award-Winning Shitshow" Thank You Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Choose My Nursing Homes Like I Choose My Cards" Greeting Card

"I Choose My Nursing Homes Like I Choose My Cards" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I'm The Best Thing To Ever Come Out of You" Mother's Day Card

"I'm The Best Thing To Ever Come Out of You" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Fucking Whatever" Christmas Card

"Merry Fucking Whatever" Christmas Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Live, Laugh, Leave Me Alone" Pin Badge

"Live, Laugh, Leave Me Alone" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Sleigh Queen" Pin Badge

"Sleigh Queen" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"It's Our Anniversary, I Love That for Us" Anniversary Card

"It's Our Anniversary, I Love That for Us" Anniversary Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"What Are You Doing in My Swamp?" Fridge Magnet

"What Are You Doing in My Swamp?" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I'm So Glad I Ignored All The Red Flags" Valentines Card

"I'm So Glad I Ignored All The Red Flags" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Milf's Day" Mother's Day Card

"Happy Milf's Day" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Purple greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Slut.

"Happy Birthday Slut" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Tinsel Tits" Pin Badge

"Tinsel Tits" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

Christmas Gift Label Stickers Series 1 - 20 Pack

Christmas Gift Label Stickers Series 1 - 20 Pack

$5.99

$5.99

In stock

"To an Ancient Specimen Born in the 1900s" Greeting Card

"To an Ancient Specimen Born in the 1900s" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You're Only As Old As The Person You Are Feeling" Birthday Card

"You're Only As Old As The Person You Are Feeling" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Holy Shit, I Love You" Valentines Card

"Holy Shit, I Love You" Valentines Card

5.0 (8)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Just Want Milk That Tastes Like Real Milk" Fridge Magnet

"I Just Want Milk That Tastes Like Real Milk" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Annoying Office Phrases" Birthday Card

"Annoying Office Phrases" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Did Raise a Homosexual Idiot" Greeting Card

"You Did Raise a Homosexual Idiot" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thank God You Came Along" Thank You Card

"Thank God You Came Along" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Much Birthday. Such Celebration. Wow." Birthday Card

"Much Birthday. Such Celebration. Wow." Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys" Fridge Magnet

"Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I Love You With All My Butt" Valentines Card

"I Love You With All My Butt" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"What a Beautiful Wedding" Wedding Card

"What a Beautiful Wedding" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Mother's Day You Marvelous Woman" Mother's Day Card

"Happy Mother's Day You Marvelous Woman" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"All Panic, No Disco" Fridge Magnet

"All Panic, No Disco" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I Bought You a Goat In Uganda" Birthday Card

"I Bought You a Goat In Uganda" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Love of My Life and Pain in My Ass" Valentines Card

"Love of My Life and Pain in My Ass" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Buying Candles For Your Cake Nearly Bankrupted Me" Birthday Card

"Buying Candles For Your Cake Nearly Bankrupted Me" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"They're Called Stepdads Because They Step The Fuck Up" Father's Day Card

"They're Called Stepdads Because They Step The Fuck Up" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"50 and Freakin' Fabulous" Birthday Card

"50 and Freakin' Fabulous" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Cunt" Pin Badge

"Cunt" Pin Badge

4.8 (5)

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"The Largest Font I Could Find" Birthday Card

"The Largest Font I Could Find" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Best Bonus Dad Ever" Father's Day Card

"Best Bonus Dad Ever" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Legend Has Left the Building" Retirement Card

"The Legend Has Left the Building" Retirement Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Borderline Stalking" Valentines Card

"Borderline Stalking" Valentines Card

5.0 (5)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Mystery Group Gift" Greeting Card

"Mystery Group Gift" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Ain't Spending Any Time on It" Father's Day Card

"I Ain't Spending Any Time on It" Father's Day Card

1.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday to You and Your Newly Discovered Autism" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to You and Your Newly Discovered Autism" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Dyslexics Are Teople Poo" Fridge Magnet

"Dyslexics Are Teople Poo" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"The Planet's Fucked But Merry Christmas I Guess" Christmas Card

"The Planet's Fucked But Merry Christmas I Guess" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Pull Out Game: Weak" Father's Day Card

"Pull Out Game: Weak" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Could Have Been a Text Message" Greeting Card

"Could Have Been a Text Message" Greeting Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Deaf Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Deaf Cunt" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Miss You Like an Idiot Misses the Point" Farewell Card

"I Miss You Like an Idiot Misses the Point" Farewell Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Big Dick Energy" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Big Dick Energy" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let's Watch Harry Potter and Fuck" Valentines Card

"Let's Watch Harry Potter and Fuck" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock