on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Can I Get a 'Hoyeah'" Birthday Card

"Can I Get a 'Hoyeah'" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Two People Had Sex and Now You Gotta Pay Bills" Birthday Card

"Two People Had Sex and Now You Gotta Pay Bills" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Santa Isn't Real" Christmas Card

"Santa Isn't Real" Christmas Card

5.0 (6)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"OMG, You're Like 100" Birthday Card

"OMG, You're Like 100" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let Me Overthink About It" Fridge Magnet

"Let Me Overthink About It" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Happy Birthday Bestie" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Bestie" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let's Get Festive As Fuck" Christmas Card

"Let's Get Festive As Fuck" Christmas Card

4.9 (7)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"This Calls for a Box of Barbecue Shapes" Greeting Card

"This Calls for a Box of Barbecue Shapes" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday from Pancake Number 2" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday from Pancake Number 2" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Face Down in a Ditch" Thank You Card

"Face Down in a Ditch" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Your Present Is Still In The Mail" Christmas Card

"Your Present Is Still In The Mail" Christmas Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"No, I Don't Know Why the Internet Isn't Working" Mother's Day Card

"No, I Don't Know Why the Internet Isn't Working" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Without Me This Day Wouldn't Mean Much" Greeting Card

"Without Me This Day Wouldn't Mean Much" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks for the Orgasms" Valentines Card

"Thanks for the Orgasms" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"To You and Your Tummy Problems" Birthday Card

"To You and Your Tummy Problems" Birthday Card

4.9 (34)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Jesus" Christmas Card

"Happy Birthday Jesus" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Woke Up Awesome Again" Fridge Magnet

"Woke Up Awesome Again" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Fine. Just Go." Farewell Card

"Fine. Just Go." Farewell Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Deck the Halls With the Blood of Our Enemies" Christmas Card

"Deck the Halls With the Blood of Our Enemies" Christmas Card

4.9 (9)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"What Do You and Cheese Have in Common?" Valentines Card

"What Do You and Cheese Have in Common?" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Don't Listen To Them, You Don't Look That Old" Birthday Card

"Don't Listen To Them, You Don't Look That Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"One Year Closer To Death" Birthday Card

"One Year Closer To Death" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"He Knows That You're a Cunt" Christmas Card

"He Knows That You're a Cunt" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Hope Your New Neighbours Aren't Cunts" Housewarming Card

"Hope Your New Neighbours Aren't Cunts" Housewarming Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Peace, Love, Joy and All That Shit" Christmas Card

"Peace, Love, Joy and All That Shit" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Dad, You Are My Father" Father's Day Card

"Dad, You Are My Father" Father's Day Card

5.0 (12)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry About the Rest of the Family" Christmas Card

"Sorry About the Rest of the Family" Christmas Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Filthy Little Mudblood" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Filthy Little Mudblood" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Always All About You Isn't It You Selfish Prick" Greeting Card

"Always All About You Isn't It You Selfish Prick" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Not Me, Not Hermione, You" Wedding Card

"Not Me, Not Hermione, You" Wedding Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Welcome, Tiny Human" Newborn Card

"Welcome, Tiny Human" Newborn Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Choo, Choo, Choose You" Valentines Card

"I Choo, Choo, Choose You" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"It Was About Time You Fucked Off, You Were Shit" Farewell Card

"It Was About Time You Fucked Off, You Were Shit" Farewell Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"This Just In, You're Old As Fuck" Birthday Card

"This Just In, You're Old As Fuck" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Legend is Leaving the Building" Extra Large Farewell Card
Sold out

"The Legend is Leaving the Building" Extra Large Farewell Card

$17.99

$17.99

Out of stock

"The Most Serial Killers Are Born in November" Birthday Card

"The Most Serial Killers Are Born in November" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Started Out With a Kiss" Valentines Card

"Started Out With a Kiss" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Yeah, Nah" Fridge Magnet

"Yeah, Nah" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I'm Not on Meth or Dead" Father's Day Card

"I'm Not on Meth or Dead" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Dilf's Day" Father's Day Card

"Happy Dilf's Day" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"May You Never Leave This Marriage Alive" Wedding Card

"May You Never Leave This Marriage Alive" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"It's My Birthday, Cunts" Pin Badge

"It's My Birthday, Cunts" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Rizz 'em With Your 'Tism" Valentines Card

"Rizz 'em With Your 'Tism" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Cheers for the Autism" Mother's Day Card

"Cheers for the Autism" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Indoor Plant Obsession" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Indoor Plant Obsession" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Fuck This" Christmas Card

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Fuck This" Christmas Card

5.0 (17)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Hot Couple" Valentines Card

"Hot Couple" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Got You This Card Because You Are Gay" Greeting Card

"I Got You This Card Because You Are Gay" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks For Being My Dopamine Dealer" Valentines Card

"Thanks For Being My Dopamine Dealer" Valentines Card

4.8 (5)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"With the Warmest, Moistest Regards" Thank You Card

"With the Warmest, Moistest Regards" Thank You Card

5.0 (9)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock