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    Best Selling Greeting Cards

    These are the greeting cards people actually buy, which says a lot about the collective state of humanity. From savage to slightly sweet (but still savage), these best-sellers have made people laugh, cry, and question your friendship. Want a card with proven insult-to-impact ratio? You’re in the right place.

    2030 Results

    2030 Results

    "Your Dick Still Does the Trick" Anniversary Card

    $6.99

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    "Merry Fucking Whatever" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "I'll Always Welcome You With Open Arms" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "You Did Raise a Homosexual Idiot" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "60 Is The New Nothing, It's Just Fucking Old" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "My Condolences to Your Digestive System" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday To My Elder" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Anniversary Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday Daddy" Birthday Card

    "Happy Birthday Daddy" Birthday Card

    4.9 (34)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "I'm So Glad I Ignored All The Red Flags" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Sorry This Card Isn't a Nimbus 2000" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "I Choose My Nursing Homes Like I Choose My Cards" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Father's Day From Your Fastest Swimmer" Father's Day Card

    $6.99

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    "I Love You With All My Butt" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Mother's Day You Marvelous Woman" Mother's Day Card

    $6.99

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    "Much Birthday. Such Celebration. Wow." Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Holy Shit, I Love You" Valentines Card

    "Holy Shit, I Love You" Valentines Card

    5.0 (8)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Love of My Life and Pain in My Ass" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "I Ordered This Card On The Toilet" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday You Dog Cunt" Birthday Card

    "Happy Birthday You Dog Cunt" Birthday Card

    5.0 (2)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    Purple greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Slut.

    "Happy Birthday Slut" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Let's Watch Harry Potter and Fuck" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Borderline Stalking" Valentines Card

    "Borderline Stalking" Valentines Card

    5.0 (5)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Thanks for Doing the Thing" Thank You Card

    $6.99

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    "Thank God You Came Along" Thank You Card

    $6.99

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    "Playing Your Part in This Tony Award-Winning Shitshow" Thank You Card

    $6.99

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    "Fighting Off Senility and Dementia" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "Annoying Office Phrases" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "What a Beautiful Wedding" Wedding Card

    $6.99

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    "It's Our Anniversary, I Love That for Us" Anniversary Card

    $6.99

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    "Buying Candles For Your Cake Nearly Bankrupted Me" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "A Shoulder To Lay Your Legs On" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday You Deaf Cunt" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "The Legend Has Left The Building" Retirement Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday You Piece of Shit" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Birth" Birthday Card

    "Birth" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Are You a Myocardial Infarction?" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Mystery Group Gift" Greeting Card

    "Mystery Group Gift" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Lying To Me About Santa" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "50 and Freakin' Fabulous" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "I Want You To Murder My Vagina" Valentines Card

    "I Want You To Murder My Vagina" Valentines Card

    5.0 (10)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "OMG We Get It, You Were Born" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Good Luck Finding Better Coworkers Than Us" Extra Large Farewell Card
    Extra Large

    $17.99

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    "I Won't Tell Anyone About Your Hemorrhoids" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "You're Only As Old As The Person You Are Feeling" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Let's Have an Autistic Christmas" Card

    "Let's Have an Autistic Christmas" Card

    5.0 (1)

    $6.99

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    "Technically, You're Dead in Gay Years" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Thanks for Putting Up With My Rubbish" Thank You Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Anniversary Card

    $6.99

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    "Your Life Would Fucking Suck Without Me" Friendship Card

    $6.99

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