Best Selling Greeting Cards
These are the greeting cards people actually buy, which says a lot about the collective state of humanity. From savage to slightly sweet (but still savage), these best-sellers have made people laugh, cry, and question your friendship. Want a card with proven insult-to-impact ratio? You’re in the right place.
"Happy Birthday You Sad Old Spinster" Birthday Card
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"Hair: Did, Face: Beat, Vibe: Good" Celebration Card
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"I Think I Wanna Have Your Baby" Valentines Card
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"Pathetic Piece of Folded Card" Birthday Card
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"Pour Yourself a Drink, Put On Some Lipstick" Encouragement Card
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"Sorry This Card Isn't a Bubble Tea" Greeting Card
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"I Thought You Said This Wedding Would Be Fun?" Wedding Card
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"An Attempt Was Made" Encouragement Card
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"Enjoy the Cruise, I'll See You in 20kgs" Farewell Card
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"Shut Up" Friendship Card
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"Let's Make Like Episode XIII and Forget It Happened" Apology Card
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"Happy Surprise Mother's Day" Mother's Day Card
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"According To Your Wikipedia Page You Are Lying About Your Age" Birthday Card
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"Don't Have Sex. You Will Get Pregnant and Die." Pregnancy Card
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"You Survived My Marie Kondo Clean Out" Valentines Card
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"Sorry About Your Bastard Child" Newborn Card
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"Happy Birthday To You and Your Persistent Virginity" Birthday Card
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"Happy Birthday To You and Your Gender Ambiguity" Birthday Card
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"Am I The Only One Thinking About Me" Birthday Card
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"Happy Birthday You Materialistic Bitch" Birthday Card
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"Your Make-Up is Busted" Valentines Card
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"Let's Get Sickening" Celebration Card
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"At Least You'll Always Have The Cats" Sympathy Card
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"Thanks For Lowering My Expectations" Valentines Card
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"You Did Your Best" Sympathy Card
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"Stop Being a Sook" Get Well Card
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"Stop Being a Pussy" Get Well Card
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"This Is a Foreclosure Waiting To Happen" Housewarming Card
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"This Card Doesn't Come With an Allen Key" Housewarming Card
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"Flimsy IKEA Furniture" Housewarming Card
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"Merry Shitscram" Christmas Card
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"Planning a Pregnancy" Newborn Card
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"Sorry Your Career is a Disaster" Sympathy Card
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"Thanks For Being a Mad Mum" Mother's Day Card
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"You Tickle Me Pink" Valentines Card
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"To a Whale of a Wife" Valentines Card
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"I Got My Hair Did For This?" Celebration Card
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"Let's Free Our Nipples" Valentines Card
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"I Waxed For This?" Valentines Card
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"Bachelor of Stress" Graduation Card
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"That Dress? With Those Shoes? Okay" Celebration Card
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"I Ain't Sayin She's A Gold Digger" Engagement Card
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"Blurry Christmas" Christmas Card
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"Creamy Shits" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmas You Silly Goose" Christmas Card
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"The Benefits of Dating Me" Valentines Card
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"You, You and Your Pussy Got Plans Tonight?" Valentines Card
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"I May Not Be Your First Girlfriend" Valentines Card
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