Best Selling Greeting Cards
These are the greeting cards people actually buy, which says a lot about the collective state of humanity. From savage to slightly sweet (but still savage), these best-sellers have made people laugh, cry, and question your friendship. Want a card with proven insult-to-impact ratio? You’re in the right place.
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"With Each Birthday, You Grow in Strength" Birthday Card
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"I Hope They Are Putting Away for a House Deposit Now" Newborn Card
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"Congrats on Shattering the Glass Hip" Congratulations Card
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"They're Called Stepmums Cause They Step the Fuck Up" Mother's Day Card
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"You Give My Tummy Butterflies" Valentines Card
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"You Give My Stomach Fruit Flies" Valentines Card
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"Young Teen Gets Brutally Wished a Happy Birthday" Birthday Card
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"I Play Pot of Greed" Birthday Card
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"You Dipped Your Pen in the Company Ink" Valentines Card
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"We're Like Two Peas in Each Other's Mouths" Valentines Card
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"I Don't Need Cupid's Arrow to Know You Bad as Fuck" Valentines Card
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"Happy Halloween You Spooky Cunt" Greeting Card
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"You're Getting Gay Divorced" Sympathy Card
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"You Should've Been a Nocturnal Emission" Birthday Card
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"I've Got Your Back, Just Let Me Wax It First" Encouragement Card
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"Thinking of You and All of the Trapped Water in the World" Greeting Card
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"Mum, You're Officially Back to Being Cool Again" Mother's Day Card
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"Least Cringiest Card I Could Find" Mother's Day Card
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"You Sure Beat Polishing the Pearl" Valentines Card
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"I Found Someone Who Loves Me More Than Myself" Valentines Card
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"Coming Out? I Had No Idea (Sarcasm)" Congratulations Card
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"Coming Out of the Closet, and Dressed Like That" Congratulations Card
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"Welcome To Your New Life" Birthday Card
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"You're Lucky I'm Blind" Valentines Card
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"Get Back In The Kitchen" Valentines Card
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"Lockdown Lover" Valentines Card
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"We've Got Our Love Locked Down" Valentines Card
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"What Are You Doing Stepbro?" Greeting Card
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"Should've Kept It In Your Pants Bro" Newborn Card
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"Congrats, You're Officially a Boy" Congratulations Card
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"Congrats On Your Revenge Body" Congratulations Card
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"You Were Born To Try" Congratulations Card
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"Thanks For Never Trusting Your Maternal Instinct" Mother's Day Card
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"You Can Open This Card Without Knocking" Greeting Card
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"Let's Drink Until We're Bored Of It All" Celebration Card
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"Directions On How To Get Away From Here" Celebration Card
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"We're Always Finishing Each Other's Dinners" Valentines Card
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"This Day is a Bleak Reminder of Your Solidarity" Valentines Card
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"She Thinks You Love The Beach" Friendship Card
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"Happy Birthday You Sad Old Spinster" Birthday Card
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"Cause You Had a Bad Day" Encouragement Card
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"You're Invited To My Obnoxious White Baby Shower" Pregnancy Card
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"How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends" Valentines Card
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"Just Remember First Place is Second Loser" Encouragement Card
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"Happy Birthday *Pouts Lips*" Birthday Card
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"Stop. Stealing. Christmas." Christmas Card
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