Best Selling Greeting Cards
These are the greeting cards people actually buy, which says a lot about the collective state of humanity. From savage to slightly sweet (but still savage), these best-sellers have made people laugh, cry, and question your friendship. Want a card with proven insult-to-impact ratio? You’re in the right place.
"You Can Give Me The 'V' Later" Valentines Card
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"What We Have is Real and Definitely Not Cake" Valentines Card
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"Being With You is a 42 Degree Fever Dream" Valentines Card
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"Your Hole Is Always The Goal" Valentines Card
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"Showing Everyone I'm Capable of Human Emotion" Valentines Card
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"I Love You With All 5 of My Senses" Valentines Card
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"Presented With Much Better Options, I Would Still Choose You" Valentines Card
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"You Wove Giving Daddy Wandom Ewections" Valentines Card
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"Thanks For Letting Me Hit It, You a Real-Ass Bitch" Valentines Card
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"I Went to Handsome Man Town and Everyone Knew You" Valentines Card
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"I Went to Cutie Patootie Town and Everyone Knew You" Valentines Card
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"With Your Consent, I'd Like to Approach You With Romantic Intent" Valentines Card
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"I Hope This Card Finds You Naked" Valentines Card
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"Let's Grow Old and Funky Together" Valentines Card
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"I Love Long Romantic Walks to the Couch With You" Valentines Card
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"Happy Valentine's Day To My Emergency Contact" Valentines Card
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"I'm Done Circling Back, I'm Ready To Touch Base" Valentines Card
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"Hello, You're Quite Good at Turning Me On" Valentines Card
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"I Love Whatever is the Matter With You" Valentines Card
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"You're a 10 out of 10" Greeting Card
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"The Largest Font I Could Find" Retirement Card
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"Which of Your Many Houses You'll Be Retiring In" Retirement Card
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"You Got Me, Hook, Line, and Sphincter" Valentines Card
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"It's About Time You Two Got a Womb" Newborn Card
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"Now You Can Be Gay and Poor in Another Country" Farewell Card
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"Let's Get This Ho on the Road" Farewell Card
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"Hang in There, Cunt" Encouragement Card
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"Go Wherever Those Clicky Knees Will Take You" Farewell Card
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"You Little Quitter" Farewell Card
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"Do Nothing From the Comfort of Your Own Home" Retirement Card
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"Yay, Permanent Work From Home" Retirement Card
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"Generic" Mother's Day Card
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"Happy, Bottom Text" Greeting Card
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"I Love You With Some of My Heart" Valentines Card
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"Thicker Than a Bowl of Oatmeal" Valentines Card
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"I Wouldn't Kick You Out of Bed" Valentines Card
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"I'm Long for You" Valentines Card
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"With Each Birthday, You Grow in Strength" Birthday Card
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"I Hope They Are Putting Away for a House Deposit Now" Newborn Card
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"Congrats on Shattering the Glass Hip" Congratulations Card
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"You Give My Stomach Fruit Flies" Valentines Card
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"Young Teen Gets Brutally Wished a Happy Birthday" Birthday Card
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"You Dipped Your Pen in the Company Ink" Valentines Card
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"We're Like Two Peas in Each Other's Mouths" Valentines Card
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"I Don't Need Cupid's Arrow to Know You Bad as Fuck" Valentines Card
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"Happy Halloween You Spooky Cunt" Greeting Card
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