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    Best Selling Greeting Cards

    These are the greeting cards people actually buy, which says a lot about the collective state of humanity. From savage to slightly sweet (but still savage), these best-sellers have made people laugh, cry, and question your friendship. Want a card with proven insult-to-impact ratio? You’re in the right place.

    2030 Results

    2030 Results

    "Can You Stop Breathing So Loudly?" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Let's Eat a Bruce Bogtrotter Level of Cake" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday To My Much Less Muscly Brother" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "I'm Extremely Mad at the Universe on Your Behalf" Sympathy Card

    $6.99

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    "You've No Money and No Prospects" Birthday Card

    "You've No Money and No Prospects" Birthday Card

    5.0 (15)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "From Your Former Gifted Child" Mother's Day Card

    "From Your Former Gifted Child" Mother's Day Card

    5.0 (1)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "I Wish You Loved Me as Much as the Cat" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Retirement Card

    $6.99

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    "I'm Not With You For The Money, But It Bloody Helps" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Smell You Later" Farewell Card

    "Smell You Later" Farewell Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Dream Date, Warming My Cold Feet On Your Body" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Merry Christmas You Virgin" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "Thank You for the Attention" Thank You Card

    $6.99

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    "Continue Looking at Our Phones" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Yule Do" Christmas Card

    "Yule Do" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "I Wanna Respect You So Hard" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday To You and Your Dad Bod" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "Mum, You had Impeccable Taste When Adopting" Mother's Day Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday You Slutty Bottom" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "There's Someone For Everyone After All" Engagement Card

    $6.99

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    "I Know Where You Live" Housewarming Card

    "I Know Where You Live" Housewarming Card

    5.0 (1)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "You're Fucking Retiring" Retirement Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday Gym Junkie" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "You Da Man" Father's Day Card

    "You Da Man" Father's Day Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday *Headbangs*" Birthday Card

    "Happy Birthday *Headbangs*" Birthday Card

    5.0 (1)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "You've Reached Your Peak So Young" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    Blue greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Dumbass.

    $6.99

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    "Once the Ibuprofen and This Heat Pack Start Kicking In" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "I Want a Divorce. Just Kidding." Anniversary Card

    $6.99

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    "Raw. Next Question." Valentines Card

    "Raw. Next Question." Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "You're Fucking Awesome" Extra Large Thank You Card
    Extra Large

    "You're Fucking Awesome" Extra Large Thank You Card

    5.0 (1)

    $17.99

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    $17.99

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    "Sensible Night, Appropriate Night" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "I Hope You Get at Least One Silent Night" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "You Give Me Jingle Bells in My South Pole" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "From Your Bonus Prize for Banging My Mum" Father's Day Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Birthday From Your Brother" Birthday Card

    "Happy Birthday From Your Brother" Birthday Card

    5.0 (15)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "How Monogamous of You Both" Wedding Card

    $6.99

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    "Tick Raising a Complete Baddie Off Your Bucket List" Greeting Card

    $6.99

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    "Happy Balegdah" Birthday Card

    "Happy Balegdah" Birthday Card

    5.0 (1)

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "You Have a Lot of Lucky Duckery" Congratulations Card

    $6.99

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    "Merry Christmas You Miserable Bastard" Christmas Card

    $6.99

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    "I'd Say Get Better But You've Been Shit For Years" Get Well Card

    $6.99

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    "Card Because Dad" Father's Day Card

    "Card Because Dad" Father's Day Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "World's Greatest Cat Mum" Mother's Day Card

    $6.99

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    "School Craft Fair" Mother's Day Card

    "School Craft Fair" Mother's Day Card

    $6.99

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    $6.99

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    "You Brick Me Up" Valentines Card

    "You Brick Me Up" Valentines Card

    $6.99

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    "A Good Mother Never Throws In The Towel" Mother's Day Card

    $6.99

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    "Can You Believe We Used To Blow All Over The Cake" Birthday Card

    $6.99

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    "If Britney Can Survive 2007, You Can Survive This" Encouragement Card

    $6.99

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    "I'll Always Be Behind You" Congratulations Card

    $6.99

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