on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Naughty Girl With a Bad Habit For Drugs" Greeting Card

"Naughty Girl With a Bad Habit For Drugs" Greeting Card

5.0 (3)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Lisa It's Your Birthday, Happy Birthday Lisa" Birthday Card

"Lisa It's Your Birthday, Happy Birthday Lisa" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"There's No One Else I'd Rather Burn In Hell With" Valentines Card

"There's No One Else I'd Rather Burn In Hell With" Valentines Card

4.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Try Not To Be a Cunt This Christmas" Christmas Card

"Try Not To Be a Cunt This Christmas" Christmas Card

5.0 (3)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Ho, Ho, Homo" Christmas Card

"Ho, Ho, Homo" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Ohrr Norrho, It's Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"Ohrr Norrho, It's Your Birthday" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Butterflies in My Stomach" Valentines Card

"Butterflies in My Stomach" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Favourite Financial Burden" Mother's Day Card

"Favourite Financial Burden" Mother's Day Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Pink greeting card with white text that says Happy Birthday Bitch.

"Happy Birthday Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (17)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You're Fucking Awesome" Thank You Card

"You're Fucking Awesome" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You're My Favourite Thing To Do" Valentines Card

"You're My Favourite Thing To Do" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I'm So Glad I Snatched You From The Cradle" Valentines Card

"I'm So Glad I Snatched You From The Cradle" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Love the Shit Out of You" Valentines Card

"I Love the Shit Out of You" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Gold Achievement Star Stickers - 32 Pack
Sold out

Gold Achievement Star Stickers - 32 Pack

4.5 (2)

$7.99

$7.99

Out of stock

"Congrats On Not Having Ugly Children" Greeting Card

"Congrats On Not Having Ugly Children" Greeting Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Keep On Sleighing" Christmas Card

"Keep On Sleighing" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Card Because Christmas" Christmas Card

"Card Because Christmas" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Wedding Card

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Fucking Whatever" Greeting Card

"Happy Fucking Whatever" Greeting Card

5.0 (8)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Inferior Digestive System" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Inferior Digestive System" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"How Miserable You Must Have Been Before Meeting Me" Valentines Card

"How Miserable You Must Have Been Before Meeting Me" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Hope Santa Empties His Sack Under Your Tree" Christmas Card

"I Hope Santa Empties His Sack Under Your Tree" Christmas Card

5.0 (21)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Next Chapter in Your Life" Greeting Card

"Next Chapter in Your Life" Greeting Card

5.0 (3)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Thought You Were Much Older" Birthday Card

"I Thought You Were Much Older" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

Free Christmas Gift Labels

Free Christmas Gift Labels

5.0 (2)

$3.00

$3.00

In stock

"Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Child" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday From Your Favourite Child" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"It's My Birthday, Bitches" Pin Badge

"It's My Birthday, Bitches" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Thanks for Not Considering My Abandonment Issues" Farewell Card

"Thanks for Not Considering My Abandonment Issues" Farewell Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"And I Will Always Love You" Valentines Card

"And I Will Always Love You" Valentines Card

4.5 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Penis Breath" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Penis Breath" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Slut Guts" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Slut Guts" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Love You. Whatever. Shut Up. Don't Look At Me." Valentines Card

"I Love You. Whatever. Shut Up. Don't Look At Me." Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday in a British Accent" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday in a British Accent" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Bullshit, You're _0?" Birthday Card

"Bullshit, You're _0?" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy (And I Cannot Stress This Enough) Birthday" Birthday Card

"Happy (And I Cannot Stress This Enough) Birthday" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Deserve a Christmas Miracle, So Here I Am" Christmas Card

"You Deserve a Christmas Miracle, So Here I Am" Christmas Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"We Are Both Cunts" Friendship Card

"We Are Both Cunts" Friendship Card

5.0 (8)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Birthday Cunt" Pin Badge

"Birthday Cunt" Pin Badge

5.0 (16)

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"From One Fabulous Bitch To Another" Birthday Card

"From One Fabulous Bitch To Another" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"But Enough About Me Because It's Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"But Enough About Me Because It's Your Birthday" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Merry Fucking Christmas" Christmas Card

"Merry Fucking Christmas" Christmas Card

4.9 (9)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Ray of Fucking Sunshine" Thank You Card

"Ray of Fucking Sunshine" Thank You Card

4.9 (15)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"If You Find a Better Dad, You'll Beat 'Em By 10%" Father's Day Card

"If You Find a Better Dad, You'll Beat 'Em By 10%" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Walk Away, Fatty" Fridge Magnet

"Walk Away, Fatty" Fridge Magnet

5.0 (4)

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I Would Bury a Body and Lie To The Police For You" Valentines Card

"I Would Bury a Body and Lie To The Police For You" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Mandatory" Birthday Card

"Mandatory" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Spoiler Alert. We're Together Forever" Valentines Card

"Spoiler Alert. We're Together Forever" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Stop Dreaming of a White Christmas, That's Racist" Christmas Card

"Stop Dreaming of a White Christmas, That's Racist" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Drink Water, Bitch" Fridge Magnet

"Drink Water, Bitch" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Birthday Bitch" Pin Badge

"Birthday Bitch" Pin Badge

5.0 (21)

$4.50

$4.50

In stock