on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Merry Bitchmas" Christmas Card

"Merry Bitchmas" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Very Next Day, You Told Me You're Gay" Christmas Card

"The Very Next Day, You Told Me You're Gay" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"A Boy's Best Friend is His Mother" Mother's Day Card

"A Boy's Best Friend is His Mother" Mother's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Typical Aries" Birthday Card

"Typical Aries" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Jhorts" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Jhorts" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Deleted Grindr For You" Valentines Card

"I Deleted Grindr For You" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Got You the Least Cringiest Card I Could Find" Greeting Card

"I Got You the Least Cringiest Card I Could Find" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"It's The 25th Of Motherfucking December Bitch" Christmas Card

"It's The 25th Of Motherfucking December Bitch" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Drunk Bitch" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Drunk Bitch" Birthday Card

5.0 (5)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"There Will Be No Safe Word Tonight" Valentines Card

"There Will Be No Safe Word Tonight" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Love You, No Homo" Valentines Card

"I Love You, No Homo" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Legend Has Retired" Retirement Card

"The Legend Has Retired" Retirement Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Sugar Daddy" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Sugar Daddy" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Au Revoir, Bitch" Farewell Card

"Au Revoir, Bitch" Farewell Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"To The Luckiest Boy On The Planet" Valentines Card

"To The Luckiest Boy On The Planet" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Netflix Password" Christmas Card

"Netflix Password" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Can't Spell Smother" Mother's Day Card

"You Can't Spell Smother" Mother's Day Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"This Mum Needs a Silent Night" Pin Badge

"This Mum Needs a Silent Night" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Iconic Bitch" Pin Badge

"Iconic Bitch" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Put Food in Me" Pin Badge

"Put Food in Me" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Hot Mess Express" Pin Badge

"Hot Mess Express" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Pornhub Enthusiast" Pin Badge

"Pornhub Enthusiast" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Happy Birthday Pookie" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Pookie" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Remember To Take Your Brain Helpies" Square Fridge Magnet

"Remember To Take Your Brain Helpies" Square Fridge Magnet

5.0 (1)

$5.99

$5.99

In stock

"What a Fucking Year This Week Has Been" Square Fridge Magnet

"What a Fucking Year This Week Has Been" Square Fridge Magnet

$5.99

$5.99

In stock

"Steamed Hams" Birthday Card

"Steamed Hams" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Rawr! That Means I Love You in Dinosaur" Valentines Card

"Rawr! That Means I Love You in Dinosaur" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday You Little Shit" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Little Shit" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Are an Absolute Academic Weapon" Graduation Card

"You Are an Absolute Academic Weapon" Graduation Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks for All the Laugh Lines, You Funny Cunt" Thank You Card

"Thanks for All the Laugh Lines, You Funny Cunt" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You Always Give Paper on Your First Marriage Anniversary" Anniversary Card

"You Always Give Paper on Your First Marriage Anniversary" Anniversary Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Declaring Your Love for Each Other" Wedding Card

"Declaring Your Love for Each Other" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Sorry This Card Isn't a McDonald's Birthday Party" Birthday Card

"Sorry This Card Isn't a McDonald's Birthday Party" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Let's Turn That Dick Into a Sucked Dick" Valentines Card

"Let's Turn That Dick Into a Sucked Dick" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Generic" Christmas Card

"Generic" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Don't Bite the Hand That Fingers You" Fridge Magnet

"Don't Bite the Hand That Fingers You" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Asserting My Dominance by Yelling 'Hip Hip'" Birthday Card

"Asserting My Dominance by Yelling 'Hip Hip'" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Shit Cunt" Fridge Magnet

"Shit Cunt" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Gin Dependent Woman" Fridge Magnet

"Gin Dependent Woman" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"It's Britney, Bitch" Fridge Magnet

"It's Britney, Bitch" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Hot Mess Express" Fridge Magnet

"Hot Mess Express" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Please Go Outside Today" Fridge Magnet

"Please Go Outside Today" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"The Goggles Do Nothing" Fridge Magnet

"The Goggles Do Nothing" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Good Looking Rooster" Fridge Magnet

"Good Looking Rooster" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Same Shit, Different Day" Fridge Magnet

"Same Shit, Different Day" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Girls Just Want to Have Serotonin" Fridge Magnet

"Girls Just Want to Have Serotonin" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Polygraph Machine Explodes" Birthday Card

"Polygraph Machine Explodes" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"To My Mother's Husband" Father's Day Card

"To My Mother's Husband" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Spending Money In This Economy" Father's Day Card

"Spending Money In This Economy" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Gosh, It's Like Jurassic Park Around Here" Birthday Card

"Gosh, It's Like Jurassic Park Around Here" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock