on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

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"Enjoy Your Straight Wedding" Wedding Card

"Enjoy Your Straight Wedding" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Grey Hairs" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Grey Hairs" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Holy Shit, It's Christmas" Christmas Card

"Holy Shit, It's Christmas" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birth Week" Birthday Card

"Happy Birth Week" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Princess" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Princess" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Rug Muncher" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Rug Muncher" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Dashin' Through the Merlot" Pin Badge

"Dashin' Through the Merlot" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"You're Terrible, Muriel" Pin Badge

"You're Terrible, Muriel" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Fun Police" Pin Badge

"Fun Police" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"You're Like the Father I've Always Had" Father's Day Card

"You're Like the Father I've Always Had" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Make Yuletide Gay Again" Christmas Card

"Make Yuletide Gay Again" Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Ohrr Norrho" Fridge Magnet

"Ohrr Norrho" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Hornbag" Fridge Magnet

"Hornbag" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Take Our Relationship as Seriously as Your Pokémon Cards" Valentines Card

"Take Our Relationship as Seriously as Your Pokémon Cards" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Would You Settle For Just The One Ho This Christmas" Christmas Card

"Would You Settle For Just The One Ho This Christmas" Christmas Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birth-they" Birthday Card

"Happy Birth-they" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Thanks for Keeping Our Pet Alive" Thank You Card

"Thanks for Keeping Our Pet Alive" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Dealing With Some Wet-Ass Pussy" Valentines Card

"Dealing With Some Wet-Ass Pussy" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Average Weekly Cost of Having a Baby" Newborn Card

"The Average Weekly Cost of Having a Baby" Newborn Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Appalling Spelling" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Appalling Spelling" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Not the First Ring He's Put On Your Finger" Engagement Card

"Not the First Ring He's Put On Your Finger" Engagement Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday To My Gay Best Friend" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To My Gay Best Friend" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Cause You're Just a Teenage Dirtbag" Birthday Card

"Cause You're Just a Teenage Dirtbag" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"How Can I Live, Laugh or Love in These Conditions?" Pin Badge

"How Can I Live, Laugh or Love in These Conditions?" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"I Can't Help Being a Cunt" Pin Badge

"I Can't Help Being a Cunt" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Grinch" Pin Badge

"Grinch" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Favourite Spider Relocator" Father's Day Card

"Favourite Spider Relocator" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"You've Got My All Time Favourite Vagina" Valentines Card

"You've Got My All Time Favourite Vagina" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"The Office Will Be Quieter and a Lot More Productive" Greeting Card

"The Office Will Be Quieter and a Lot More Productive" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Two Cunts Joined Together in Holy Matrimony" Wedding Card

"Two Cunts Joined Together in Holy Matrimony" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Girl, You Always Deliver" Newborn Card

"Girl, You Always Deliver" Newborn Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"So What Are We?" Valentines Card

"So What Are We?" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Congrats, You're Hitched" Wedding Card

"Congrats, You're Hitched" Wedding Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Jolly. As. Fuck." Christmas Card

"Jolly. As. Fuck." Christmas Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Retirement, You Old Cunt" Retirement Card

"Happy Retirement, You Old Cunt" Retirement Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday Big Tits" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Big Tits" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Are You a Beaver?" Valentines Card

"Are You a Beaver?" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"*Finger Guns*" Thank You Card

"*Finger Guns*" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"If Only You Could See Yourself Through My Eyes" Valentines Card

"If Only You Could See Yourself Through My Eyes" Valentines Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"We Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Extra Large Birthday Card
Extra Large

"We Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Extra Large Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$17.99

$17.99

In stock

"Mooch Ass Grassy Ass" Thank You Card

"Mooch Ass Grassy Ass" Thank You Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Can I Go Home and Read Now?" Pin Badge

"Can I Go Home and Read Now?" Pin Badge

$4.50

$4.50

In stock

"Bonjour Cunts" Fridge Magnet

"Bonjour Cunts" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"Gym?" Fridge Magnet

"Gym?" Fridge Magnet

$4.60

$4.60

In stock

"I Didn't Want My Guts in That Order Anyway" Valentines Card

"I Didn't Want My Guts in That Order Anyway" Valentines Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"I Hope You Get a Hot Chook For Your Birthday" Birthday Card

"I Hope You Get a Hot Chook For Your Birthday" Birthday Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Hey Siri, Find Me a Crappy, Last Minute" Greeting Card

"Hey Siri, Find Me a Crappy, Last Minute" Greeting Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Birthday to The Heir to My Vast Fortune" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday to The Heir to My Vast Fortune" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Father's Day From Your Furbaby" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day From Your Furbaby" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock

"Happy Father's Day, Dickhead" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day, Dickhead" Father's Day Card

$6.99

$6.99

In stock