on a break in Europe. all orders ship from February 2027.

we’re closed. (sort of.)

After 7 long years, we’re taking a proper break. Right now I’m sitting on a beach somewhere in Europe and I’m not coming back for a while.

Please don’t order expecting it to arrive soon. But if you still want to order and keep supporting us, we’d love that. Just know nothing ships until February 2027, so it won’t arrive in time for Christmas.

Old Age Cards

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69 Results

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"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Mole" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday You Cranky Old Mole" Birthday Card

4.7 (9)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"At Least They'll Never Say You Died Too Young" Birthday Card

"At Least They'll Never Say You Died Too Young" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"The Crow Called. It Wants Its Feet Back" Birthday Card

"The Crow Called. It Wants Its Feet Back" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Christ, You're Getting Old" Birthday Card

"Christ, You're Getting Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (3)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You Don't Look a Day Over __" Birthday Card

"You Don't Look a Day Over __" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Old Cunt" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Old Cunt" Birthday Card

4.8 (19)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Thought You Were Much Older" Birthday Card

"I Thought You Were Much Older" Birthday Card

5.0 (2)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Getting Dangerously Close To Beekeeping Age" Birthday Card

"You're Getting Dangerously Close To Beekeeping Age" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"OMG, You're Like 100" Birthday Card

"OMG, You're Like 100" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Don't Listen To Them, You Don't Look That Old" Birthday Card

"Don't Listen To Them, You Don't Look That Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"One Year Closer To Death" Birthday Card

"One Year Closer To Death" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"This Just In, You're Old As Fuck" Birthday Card

"This Just In, You're Old As Fuck" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Age Is Just a Number ... A Really Big Number" Birthday Card

"Age Is Just a Number ... A Really Big Number" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Young At Heart But Old Everywhere Else" Birthday Card

"Young At Heart But Old Everywhere Else" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Retirement Card

"Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension" Retirement Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Maturing Nicely" Birthday Card

"You're Maturing Nicely" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"60 Is The New Nothing, It's Just Fucking Old" Birthday Card

"60 Is The New Nothing, It's Just Fucking Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To My Elder" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To My Elder" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Only As Old As The Person You Are Feeling" Birthday Card

"You're Only As Old As The Person You Are Feeling" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Buying Candles For Your Cake Nearly Bankrupted Me" Birthday Card

"Buying Candles For Your Cake Nearly Bankrupted Me" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"50 and Freakin' Fabulous" Birthday Card

"50 and Freakin' Fabulous" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Father's Day, You Old Cunt" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day, You Old Cunt" Father's Day Card

5.0 (5)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Hip Hip Replacement" Birthday Card

"Hip Hip Replacement" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Serving This Much Cunt? At Your Age?" Birthday Card

"Serving This Much Cunt? At Your Age?" Birthday Card

5.0 (15)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Your Body Is Officially Out of the Warranty Period" Birthday Card

"Your Body Is Officially Out of the Warranty Period" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday Old Fart" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday Old Fart" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Hmmm ... Not Everything Gets Better With Age" Birthday Card

"Hmmm ... Not Everything Gets Better With Age" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Holy Shit You Got Old" Birthday Card

"Holy Shit You Got Old" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Grey Hairs" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Grey Hairs" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"50 and Not Out" Birthday Card

"50 and Not Out" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Okay, Old" Birthday Card

"Okay, Old" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"We Stan an Ageing Queen" Birthday Card

"We Stan an Ageing Queen" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"OK Boomer" Greeting Card

"OK Boomer" Greeting Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Mother's Day You Old Bitch" Mother's Day Card

"Happy Mother's Day You Old Bitch" Mother's Day Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"The Older You Get The Harder You Have To Blow" Birthday Card

"The Older You Get The Harder You Have To Blow" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Receding Hairline" Birthday Card

"Happy Birthday To You and Your Receding Hairline" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"We're Too Old for This Shit" Celebration Card

"We're Too Old for This Shit" Celebration Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Burning Through The Golden Years" Birthday Card

"Burning Through The Golden Years" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Polygraph Machine Explodes" Birthday Card

"Polygraph Machine Explodes" Birthday Card

5.0 (1)

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Gosh, It's Like Jurassic Park Around Here" Birthday Card

"Gosh, It's Like Jurassic Park Around Here" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Retirement Card

"I Ain't Spending Any Time On It" Retirement Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Happy Father's Day, Old Man" Father's Day Card

"Happy Father's Day, Old Man" Father's Day Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're Openly Grey" Birthday Card

"You're Openly Grey" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"The Grim Reaper Just Left a Voicemail" Birthday Card

"The Grim Reaper Just Left a Voicemail" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You're My Right Hand Nan" Greeting Card

"You're My Right Hand Nan" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Some Say It's Locking You Up" Greeting Card

"Some Say It's Locking You Up" Greeting Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"You Redefine Old" Birthday Card

"You Redefine Old" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Retiring? In This Economy?" Retirement Card

"Retiring? In This Economy?" Retirement Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Gosh, It's Like The Land Before Time Around Here" Birthday Card

"Gosh, It's Like The Land Before Time Around Here" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock

"Holy Shit, You're Still Alive" Birthday Card

"Holy Shit, You're Still Alive" Birthday Card

$3.84

$3.84

In stock