Christmas Cards
Tis the season to be... mildly unhinged. Our Christmas cards roast harder than your aunt’s overcooked turkey and deliver festive cheer with a side of judgement. Merry chaos!
"Let's Worry About Those Split Ends" Christmas Card
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"Merry Shitmas" Christmas Card
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"Visited By the Methylated Spirits of Christmas" Christmas Card
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"You're Like a Cheap Candy Cane" Christmas Card
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"I Wish I Had a Machine Gun, Ho Ho Ho" Christmas Card
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"Happy Holidays Dickhead" Christmas Card
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"This Holiday Makes Me Want to Murder People" Christmas Card
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"Santa's on a Budget This Year" Christmas Card
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"Giddy Up Jingle Horse, Pick Up Your Feet" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmas, What Day Is It?" Christmas Card
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"Let's Have a Kmart Christmas" Christmas Card
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"I Didn't Know Santa Shopped At Kmart" Christmas Card
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"Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmas You Scroogey Motherfucker" Christmas Card
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"To the Tree You Never Took Down From Last Year" Christmas Card
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"Hairy Clitoris and a Happy Gonorrhea" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmas You Tacky Bitch" Christmas Card
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"Happy Holidays Bitch" Christmas Card
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"Merry COVIDmas" Christmas Card
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"Merry Eczema" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmess" Christmas Card
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"I'm Gonna Deck Your Halls" Christmas Card
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"Take a Ride On My Sleigh" Christmas Card
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"I'm Dreaming of a White Trash Christmas" Christmas Card
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"Here's To Another Crappy Year" Christmas Card
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"Have a Camp Christmas" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmas To You and Your Seasonal Depression" Christmas Card
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"Let's Stay The Fuck Away From Each Other" Christmas Card
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"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Corona" Christmas Card
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"They Always Tell Us to Shop Small, So This is All I Bought" Greeting Card
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"You're Not Fat, Just Jolly" Christmas Card
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"Santa Doesn't Believe In You Either" Christmas Card
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"Wake Me Up When All This Shit is Over" Christmas Card
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"Piss on the World, Hell" Christmas Card
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"He Sees You When You're Sleeping Around" Christmas Card
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"I'm Dreaming of a Shite Christmas" Christmas Card
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"Christmas Was So Last Year" Christmas Card
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"Santa Left The Receipt In The Box" Christmas Card
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"I Bought This At 2am" Christmas Card
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"Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear" Christmas Card
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"Merry Christmas You Silly Goose" Christmas Card
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"Put a Finger Down If You Hate Christmas" Christmas Card
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"COVID Cancelled Christmas" Christmas Card
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"Merry Shitscram" Christmas Card
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"Blurry Christmas" Christmas Card
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"Creamy Shits" Christmas Card
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"Stop. Stealing. Christmas." Christmas Card
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